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February 4, 2018“In the morning, while it was still very dark, he got up.” (Mk 1:35)
You rose while it was still dark. You did not wait for the light of day. You didn’t wait for everything to be clear and settled, squared away, organized. You didn’t wait for chaos and disorder to be conquered. You stood up in the darkness, the chaos, the disorder, among monsters and beasts of the night. And you prayed.
You left the house, the town, the crowd, the company and the comfort and the noise, the familiarity and the distraction. You sought out the lonely place, the empty place, the dark, silent, fearful place where one waits for an encounter. This is a risky business. What if nothing happens? What if vulnerability is so laid bare only to be mocked by uninterrupted silence?
They hunted for you. So do I. I hunt, I dig, I grasp, I cling. Everyone is looking for you. “But did you not know that I should be about my Father’s business?” Of course. But we are needy and we crowd around the door, hands reaching out to touch you. You are exactly where you should be, and you never fail to reach out a hand to grasp one who needs you. You are everywhere, close, even in the dark.
“For this I have come.” What conviction did you draw from the depths of solitude that sends you forth to proclaim? What energy you have! I, too, am sent forth, and so I go, but in weakness, in fear and trembling, under seemingly inauspicious circumstances. I trust you, Lord, to bring to fruition your mission in me. For this you have come.
Image: El Greco, Christ in Prayer
