A Cordial Encounter

I recently discovered the series of messages Pope Francis has given for the World Day for Social Communications, which falls on January 24th each year.  In his talks, the pope has focused on aspects of communication such as Communicating by Encountering People Where and as They Are, Listening with the Ear of the Heart, Speaking with the Heart: The Truth in Love, Communication and Mercy: A Fruitful Encounter.  In reading them, I couldn’t help but think of the encounters Jesus had with so many different people in the gospels, all the fascinating conversations he had in the gospel of John, and in particular, the Samaritan woman he – and we – meet at the well this morning.  Jesus is the one who teach us how to meet, listen and speak to others in a way that opens up to conversion and communion.  With this in mind, I would like to share with you some of Pope Francis’ insights in conversation with today’s gospel.

Meeting the person

“How can you, a Jew, ask me, a Samaritan woman, for a drink?”

It is made clear from the beginning to the end of the story that Jesus is crossing boundaries and violating a social and religious code of decency by speaking with this woman.  Jesus waits at the well, ostensibly for his disciples to bring lunch, but actually for someone to give him a drink.  Who could it be, in such a place and at such a time, but a Samaritan (not a Jew), a woman (not a man), someone marginal to her own people on account of her marital status (not an upstanding citizen).  Jesus is laying himself open for an encounter with the ‘other’.  He takes a risk, and the woman knows it.  

Pope Francis speaks of the need for an unprejudiced approach to others in order to meet them in reality, rather than in the world of our narrow expectations.

“It is necessary to move beyond the complacent attitude that we ‘already know’ certain things. Instead, we need to go and see them for ourselves, to spend time with people, to listen to their stories and to confront reality, which always in some way surprises us.”

“‘Come and see’ is the simplest method to get to know a situation. It is the most honest test of every message, because, in order to know, we need to encounter, to let the person in front of me speak, to let his or her testimony reach me.”

(Pope Francis, World Day for Social Communications, 2021)

There is no greater example of this ‘come and see’ approach than the incarnation of God in Christ.  God comes to us where we are and as we are.  Jesus’ encounter with the Samaritan woman illustrates this perfectly.  We need to learn to do the same for one another, to be willing to be surprised, to learn something, to grow.

Listening with the ear of the heart

“If you knew the gift of God
and who is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink, ‘
you would have asked him
and he would have given you living water.”

Jesus engages the woman in conversation, welcoming her unconditionally and inviting her to know him.  He is willing to drink from her jar, even as he invites her to drink from his.

Pope Francis speaks of the central importance of learning to listen to the other.

“A respected doctor, accustomed to treating the wounds of the soul, was once asked what the greatest need of human beings is. He replied: ‘The boundless desire to be heard’.”

“The true seat of listening is the heart. Though he was very young, King Solomon proved himself wise because he asked the Lord to grant him a “listening heart” (cf. 1 Kings 3:9). Saint Augustine used to encourage listening with the heart (corde audire), to receive words not outwardly through the ears, but spiritually in our hearts: ‘Do not have your heart in your ears, but your ears in your heart’.”

“Thus, the Protestant theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer reminds us that the first service we owe to others in communion consists in listening to them. Whoever does not know how to listen to his brother or sister will soon no longer be able to listen to God either.”

(Pope Francis, World Day for Social Communications, 2022)

The pope further explains what he means by such cordial listening.

“Listening is much more than simply hearing. Hearing is about receiving information, while listening is about communication, and calls for closeness. Listening allows us to get things right, and not simply to be passive onlookers, users or consumers. Listening also means being able to share questions and doubts, to journey side by side, to banish all claims to absolute power and to put our abilities and gifts at the service of the common good.

Listening is never easy. Many times it is easier to play deaf. Listening means paying attention, wanting to understand, to value, to respect and to ponder what the other person says. It involves a sort of martyrdom or self-sacrifice, as we try to imitate Moses before the burning bush: we have to remove our sandals when standing on the “holy ground” of our encounter with the one who speaks to me (cf. Ex 3:5). Knowing how to listen is an immense grace, it is a gift which we need to ask for and then make every effort to practice.”

(Pope Francis, World Day for Social Communications, 2016)

Our Abbot General, Dom Bernardus, on a recent visit to Mississippi Abbey, spoke of the need for each of us in community to learn to listen for the sake of listening – not just gather information or to fix things.  We are listening simply so that we can know one another better, so that we can marvel at the gift of God in our midst.  But we find this very challenging, even a kind of martyrdom.  We need to ask for the grace to open the ears of our hearts to God and to one another.

Speaking from the heart

“I know that the Messiah is coming, the one called the Christ;
when he comes, he will tell us everything.”
Jesus said to her,
“I am he, the one speaking with you.”
In response to Jesus’ unprejudiced approach and willingness to listen to her, the woman allows herself to be known.  She shares her real life situation and her spiritual aspirations.  This in turn opens to a rare moment in which Jesus is able to reveal himself more fully and directly than in most other encounters we read of in the gospel.

Pope Francis describes what it means to speak the truth in love:

“Once we have practiced listening, which demands waiting and patience, as well as foregoing the assertion of our point of view in a prejudicial way, we can enter into the dynamic of dialogue and sharing, which is precisely that of communicating in a cordial way. After listening to the other with a pure heart, we will also be able to speak following the truth in love (cf. Eph 4:15). We should not be afraid of proclaiming the truth, even if it is at times uncomfortable, but of doing so without charity, without heart. Because “the Christian’s programme” — as Benedict XVI wrote — “is ‘a heart which sees’”. A heart that reveals the truth of our being with its beat and that, for this reason, should be listened to. This leads those who listen to attune themselves to the same wavelength, to the point of being able to hear within their heart also the heartbeat of the other. Then the miracle of encounter can take place, which makes us look at one another with compassion, welcoming our mutual frailties with respect rather than judging by hearsay and sowing discord and division.”

(Pope Francis, World Day for Social Communications, 2023)

The fruit of the encounter between Jesus and the Samaritan woman is remarkable.  She who was an outcast becomes a disciple, a bringer of the good news to her people.  And the result is that there is no more Samaritan or Jew.

The woman left her water jar
and went into the town and said to the people,
“Come see a man who told me everything I have done.
Could he possibly be the Christ?”

Like the Samaritan woman, may we come to know the gift of God – his closeness to each of us, and the possibility of coming close to one another, to be purified of our resistance, our fear of rejection, and healed of our discord and division.  May we allow ourselves to be known, come to know Jesus as the source of life, and share that with one another by speaking the truth from the heart.

Source: Pope Francis, Messages for World Days of Communication

Image: Grigor Malinov, The Samaritan Woman at the Well