Becoming One
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May 27, 2017“Everything of mine is yours and everything of yours is mine.” (Jn 17:10)
A couple have lived together for many years, not without struggle – struggle with finances, with the stresses of raising children, with one another’s eccentricities and limitations and wounds. In the beginning, he worked long and hard, often away from home. She spent long days caring for the constant needs of the children when they were young, sometimes feeling guilty that she couldn’t give more love, more attention. With all the energy and commitment having a family demanded, he couldn’t see himself apart from his wife and children. They were one, even then, but this was only a beginning.
They have spent long years in each other’s company, learning from one another. He has learned from her how to express himself better and be more generous. She has learned from him not to be so captive to emotional ups and downs, fears and compulsions. They have leaned on each other’s strengths and become sensitive to each other’s weaknesses. At length and almost imperceptibly, the trees of adversity have thinned out and they find themselves in a clearing. Their lives have become one. This oneness does not mean that they are the same and do everything together. There is space in the clearing for each of them to be themselves: for one to do crossword puzzles while the other makes sandwiches; for one to clean up after the cat while the other takes a long walk. They bicker and tease. They take bouts of moodiness or stubbornness in their stride. Because they have shared much joy and much sorrow and forgiven one another for not being perfect, they have found peace.
Today, this is where I see God in our midst.
Image: Marc Chagall, Song of Songs IV
