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March 20, 2018All of a sudden, and for the first time, really, we are faced with Jesus at his weakest. He knows that he will not make it out of the garden alive. He will be handed over there, die there, and be buried there. And he is terrified and alone.
“[He] began to be distressed and agitated.” (Mk 14:33)
Into this place of horror the disciples cannot follow, though he would like them to. They are already falling away and do not know what to say to him. They cannot face their master’s fear any more than we can face our parents’ tears. But it is really their own fear they cannot face. Is it not the case when we discover that our parents, our role models, our seniors, our leaders and in fact, everyone around us is subject to the isolating terror and crumbling weakness which is the human condition? We thought we alone were weak and they were strong. That we are not in fact alone in our fear and weakness makes it all the more terrible. This is where despair lives – in this garden.
“And going a little farther, he threw himself on the ground and prayed that, if it were possible, the hour might pass from him.” (Mk 14:35)
He falls in body not in spirit, for the flesh is weak, but his spirit is not so eager any more for the hour. The wine has turned bitter.
“Remove this cup from me.” (Mk 14:36)
Jesus is not ashamed to manifest his fear and to ask his Father to save him. The Father is at the center of all things.
“Abba…not what I want, but what you want.” (Mk 14:36)
“Love is strong as death… love no flood can quench, no torrents drown” (Sg 8:6-7). Love is deeper than dread. Does he receive an answer? Does he stare into the void? Maybe he doesn’t need a voice from heaven to speak of glory. There is no glory here. Here, there are no angels and not even a devil. There is only the way, dark and terrible, but irresistible. It is the way to the Father.
“And when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left, your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” (Is 30:21)
“Get up, let us be going. See, my betrayer is at hand.” (Mk 14:42)
