On the Way to the Father
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May 10, 2020“Do not let your hearts be troubled.
You have faith in God; have faith also in me. In my Father’s house there are many dwelling places.” (Jn 14:1-2)
It is interesting to note that, just a few verses before Jesus exhorts his disciples not to be troubled in heart, he himself was “deeply troubled” (Jn 13:21). Why? It is the thought of his betrayal and everything that lay on the path stretching out before him. We too tremble inwardly before all the challenges and trials, known and unknown, that confront us in life. What does Jesus do with his trouble? It seems to be the thought of the Father to whom he is returning that brings him through. He recognizes the path of suffering as the way to the Father. The Letter to the Hebrews puts it this way: “For the sake of the joy that lay before him he endured the cross, despising its shame, and has taken his seat at the right of the throne of God” (Hb 12:2). By means of his passion, death, resurrection and ascension, Jesus returns to his proper place, the place from which he had come as Son of the Father. As von Balthasar points out, what is totally new is that Jesus returns there in his humanity. For the first time human nature, human flesh is present in God. Thus, the Son’s place in the Father’s bosom becomes a place prepared for humanity in the depths of God.
“And if I go and prepare a place for you,
I will come back again and take you to myself,
so that where I am you also may be.” (Jn 14:3)
St Benedict teaches that we should “Yearn for everlasting life with holy desire.” (RB 4.46). This verse awakens in us a great longing which is more than just a wish to be in a better place. In the Welsh language there is a word for this: “hiraeth,” which can be paraphrased as an undefinable longing, nostalgia for the place where we belong, combined with a sense of painful separation. My mother was very attached to this word and all its connotations, because she identified in herself such a mysterious longing to live in Wales, learn its language and be immersed in its culture. It was only later that she learned we had Welsh ancestry. For me, the word has come to mean less a sense of belonging in a country connected with a language and a culture, and more profoundly the longing for the heavenly homeland, the place of our Father. Somehow, we know that we belong in God, and nothing else will satisfy us. It is worth noting that our tradition also names this experience “compunction.” The heart is pierced to let in a whiff of “What no eye has seen nor ear heard, nor the human heart conceived, what God has prepared for those who love him” (1 Cor 2:9).
In Guerric’s first Sermon he interprets the verse from Hosea, “The people will wait in suspense for my return.” (Hos 11:7), with the image of a person hanging between heaven and earth, as on a cross, “unable as yet to grasp heavenly affairs,” and contacting those of earth “only with the very tips of the fingers” (Guerric of Igny, 1.3). The experience of not finding one’s home on earth and yet not yet being at home in heaven could move in the direction of a wholesale rejection of earthly life which would be a complete misunderstanding of resurrection, ascension and the sending of the Spirit to be with us forever. There is all the difference in the world between on the one hand pining away for what is not here and thus rendering ourselves useless in our present situation, and on the other, an acute sense of belonging that causes pain, but also bestows meaning and so energizes us to take up anew our active pursuit of the way to the Father.
“Where I am going you know the way.”
Thomas said to him,
“Master, we do not know where you are going;
how can we know the way?” (Jn 14:5)
Another Thomas fills out our all-too-human protest of ignorance in words that cannot fail to find echoes in our own situation:
“My Lord God,
I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
nor do I really know myself,
and the fact that I think I am following your will
does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you
does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road,
though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always though
I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me,
and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.”
-Thomas Merton
“I am the way and the truth and the life.
No one comes to the Father except through me.
If you know me, then you will also know my Father.
From now on you do know him and have seen him.” (Jn 14:6-7)
Jesus tells us that we know the way. Let us take him at his word. The place being prepared for us is not only “there” but also “here.” Humanity finds a place in God; God finds a place in humanity. Jesus prepares a place for us in the Father’s heart; the Spirit is preparing a place for Father and the Son in our hearts: “Whoever loves me will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our dwelling with him” (Jn 14:23). He comes to us daily. He remains with us always. Let us walk with him along the way home. I do not know where I am going, but I know the way. Jesus, the way, the truth and the life is forming himself within me, day by day.
